Calm and simplicity, the older I get, the more I value this. Karen is so good at making this a priority and structuing life to allow for this. Today, on her birthday, she is sharing her thoughts on a simple life. Thanks to Emily and Bethany for styling and shooting this lovely visual.

Today is my thirty-fourth birthday. I recall turning seventeen and to think another seventeen years have past…it’s unbelievable at times. In another seventeen, I’ll be fifty-one. I remember hearing when I was a kid that you spend your youth wishing for time to pass quickly. Isn’t it true? We get excited for the next stage…I want to be sixteen so I can drive. I want to be eighteen so I can graduate and go to college. I want to travel the world in my twenties. I want to get married, I want to be a mom, and on and on. Then we reach an age where we wish time would slow down. I think I’ve reached whatever that elusive number is. I watch my daughter, on the cusp of turning three, and wouldn’t mind if we went back to the time she had two of the dearest little teeth I ever did see or if we stay at this stage where she asks for a bear hug every night. My husband and I will soon celebrate our fifth anniversary and some days, I want to return to the honeymoon we spent navigating the dirt mountain roads of Costa Rica and blithely taking surfing and yoga lessons. Not a care under the sun. When I visit my grandma at the nursing home, and she tells me incoherent stories, and I notice a larger area on her scalp cut away from her recurrent skin cancer, I want to return to earlier days. The ones when I remember her cleaning her house in high heels, going to the hair dresser twice a week to have her curls set, and stroking my head until I fell asleep on those lovely nights we spent at Grandma and Pappy’s. How time goes on.

At a young age, I encountered this psalm: “As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years, or if due to strength eighty years…For soon it is gone and we fly away” (Psalm 90:10). Those words “for soon it is gone” often echo in the back of my mind but so does the rest of the psalm: “so teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12). Life passes fast—that’s a reality that I can’t change. But I can choose to live with wisdom. To me, I view living a simple life as a way to cultivate a wise heart. The older I get, the more I see we are surrounded by ceaseless opportunities to overcomplicate our lives, to interrupt our calm with a frenzy of activity, and to keep us in a constant state of doubt, comparison, and dissatisfaction. The following is a compilation of tips that more than three decades of life have taught me about living simply.

Possessions

At all costs, avoid storage units. In travels to other countries, not once did I notice storage units anywhere but in America. This is my philosophy on possessions, “Only own what will fit into one U-Haul.” It can be one of those ample sized U-Hauls, but friends of mine who are in their 60’s and are missionaries to Canada told me that is how they live, and ever since, my husband and I annually edit our belongings. When I one day leave earth, I don’t want to leave behind a bunch of junk that my children are stuck sifting through. Tips to remember: don’t make random trips to Target or to yard sales just to look for good deals. Good deals can complicate your life.

Clothing

I used to make frequent trips to Forever 21 or H&M and buy a ton of clothing because it was so cheap. I always wanted something new. Now, I can’t remember the last time I visited Forever 21. The loud music and bright lighting are enough to destroy any semblance of calm in my life. Clothing shopping should be akin to shopping at Terrain not going to the discoteca in Spain. Been there. Done that. And it’s really not that fun. What has worked in relation to my wardrobe is to buy a few, quality items. No more cheaply made articles of clothing that I will yard sale in a year. I don’t look for bargains when I buy clothing anymore; I look for what will last a long time. Natural materials are also important to me and feel better than synthetic ones. I’ve adopted the KonMari method for editing my clothing and ask myself: “Does this bring me joy?” as I look at each piece. If not, ciao.

Children

In regards to toys…we have few toys for our kids. Their toys fit into two bins. One that we keep in the basement to rotate and have something new, and one that we keep in the family room. We also have a kitchen set and some riding toys. I don’t like plastic toys, and I don’t like ones that make noise (unless it’s an instrument). My husband and I don’t buy toys with batteries. We’ve chosen to not allow our society force us into buying a slew of toys for our kids. It won’t make us better parents. This article and this article have shaped my thinking in the area of toys.

In regards to activities…Swimming lessons, music class, and sports….Parents can be made to feel guilty if they don’t have their kids participating in enough activities. But a lot of activities can make for an overly hectic life. The music class at our house consists of Elsa pressing away at the piano keys to her hearts content while I play a sonata or hymn. Dance class involves my husband playing random songs and our family making all kinds of half-synced and embarrassing moves around the house to the delight of our children. As for other sports, I’m sure one day we’ll venture into the realm of organized sporting activities, but for now, family walks and hikes and travel help bind us together.

In regards to motherly intuition…as moms we can easily follow “expert” recommendations to a T, search the Internet constantly to see what’s ailing our children, or feel we’ll never parent as well as________. But thankfully, I’m slowly beginning to see that I really am equipped to parent Elsa and Abraham. When my son spent the first 15 days of his life in the NICU and had a maze of cords around him, I lost much confidence in my mothering ability and asked the nurses and doctors question after question how to care for him until one of his nurses looked at me and said, “What does your intuition tell you to do?” Here was a woman with a ton of medical training, and I was a mom with zero medical knowledge apart from wedmd, yet she valued my opinion most. Mother’s intuition…all I can say is it’s a powerful, wonderful thing. Listen to it. And know you are the best parent your child will ever have.

Finances

There is one sure way to complicate your life and that is to live beyond your means. Live on less than what you make and keep track of where your money goes. I prefer to tell my money what to do as opposed to it telling me what to do. Some really basic financial rules that Kyle and I have decided to abide by and they have kept our lives all the simpler, thanks to Dave Ramsey…

1. No debt except a house and pay off the house quickly.
2. No car loans and no leasing.
3. Keep housing costs at 25% of Kyle’s take home pay (we ignore any money I might make and put it towards paying extra on our mortgage…one of the best decisions we could have made and gives me the freedom to not have a full time job at this stage of my life).
4. Keep a 3-6 month emergency fund.

Home

I think it’s one of the most beloved four letter words in the English language. I want to keep the rest of my life simple so that I can devote energy here. My childhood home was old and rickety, often smelled like homemade applesauce or dumplings. As my husband and I begin the process of selling our townhouse and finding a new home (a process I have the gift of overcomplicating and overthinking), I need to remember that it wasn’t the Scandinavian interior, the dip pool in the backyard, or the perfectly organized closets that imparted such fond memories. (Trust me, organization was not my mom’s forte. I dreaded having to open our living room closet knowing five random items would tumble on my head, and I’d have to slam the door shut just to keep everything inside of it.) Rather, I fondly remember my mom and dad who loved us like crazy and believed all little kids should go outside and play. Upon return, a warm meal awaited. Rather succinctly, the keys to a perfect home include: something aromatic cooking in the oven, an outdoor play spot, a present mom and dad (no cell phone in sight), and maybe a leaky faucet or two.

So now, dear reader, may I ask, what do you do to embrace the calm of a simple life?