Discouragement is defined as loss of confidence or enthusiasm; dispiritedness.

UGH. Stuff we don’t like or even want to admit too.

Discouragement is contagious. It spreads, overflows, and trickles down to those around me. It invades heart, perspective, and thoughts. In 2014 I experienced discouragement and it hit me hard. Survival mode took over and I reacted to the day instead of acting on the day. I knew I did not want to stay there. But man! It felt out of my control. So I started asking questions, seeking advice, and ultimately being honest with myself. Here’s what I learned. Discouragement likes to make me believe that what I am feeling is not my fault. After all, it feels really nice to blame it on something or someone other than me. Then I am off the hook! BUT, guess what I realized? It’s all my fault. Oooooooh, bummer.

Follow along…here is what I learned. So far, at least.

Discouragement has a knack of telling lies that sound like truth. Such as…
I am not good enough.
Life is out of control.
I need to clench tightly what is mine lest somebody take from me.
Life is hard. Nothing is easy. Expect the worst.
This project is so overwhelming and that person offended me.
I am a victim.

I do things, that cause discouragement. Such as….
Connect my self-worth to accomplishments
Compare
Not let things go and expect perfectionism
Always playing it safe
Worry what others think of me and take things personally
Default to distrust
Not trust myself…lose self confidence
Forget to rest
Drink bad coffee too many days in a row. JK. Actually not really. :)

See how my choices cause me to feel things? And what I feel causes me to make bad choices. It’s a crazy circle.

But this is what I realized! At the root of all this is that big little word:

Fear.
Fear I am not good enough. Fear I will lose control if I do not control. Fear others will hurt me. Fear I will fail. This fear causes me to strive, wrestle, overcompensate, stress, worry, and lose perspective.  Do that too long and discouragement will hit hard.

Discouragement happens. It’s okay and normal. We all feel it. But like so much of life, remaining in discouragement is a choice. It comes down to looking at the fear that is causing me to believe and act on things that are not true. Then change my perspective.

I can choose to embrace life’s problems instead of fearing them. Understand that problems are a natural and healthy part of living. Accept that I am not perfect and am a work in progress and that is just okay. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Ask for help. Be real. Rest and take care of myself. Focus on opportunity instead of the lack. Be present. Be grateful.

Perspective.
I love that word. I think it is SO powerful. A tweak in my perspective, and suddenly the world looks entirely different.