Last fall as we prepared for Story, I had several months of crazy fear that it would be a failure. I worried that it would be too difficult to bring our vision to life, what we offered would get lost in all the industry noise, we were unqualified, it wouldn’t be profitable, and that the time invested into months of preparing would be all for nothing. I imagined the worst. I was so passionate and so scared at the same time.

Looking back over the years of business, I can easily recall other times I had this same debilitating fear: when I quadrupled my portrait pricing, when I photographed my first wedding, when I hired my first employee and suddenly had the responsibility for other people I cared deeply about, when we hosted our first workshop. All of them, I remember feeling deep fear and wondering WHY I ever get myself into these things.

Even though I know that fear is part of growth, I still want to run and hide each time I get that ‘feeling’ in my stomach. Fear will paralyze and skew reality. Projects and what is at stake feels larger than life. When it is the domineering emotion, fear will take the JOY out of everything.

Today I have felt the fear enough times to start recognizing the process. While I still feel the fear and it never ceases to feel very real each time; understanding the process helps me take steps to move through the fear instead of staying stuck in it.

Here are five steps that help me move through fear.

Acknowledge that fear is part of new things and first time endeavors.
Acknowledging that fear is a part of new things and first time endeavors helps me to make peace with the fear. Fear is not bad or something I should try to avoid. It is part of life, part of growth, and for me probably will always accompany anything that pushes me outside of my comfort zone. Initially fear feels like it’s part of me and I see the world through it. But when I take an objective perspective on it, I see it more for what it is.

Ask for help.
Fear makes me feel alone and like I have to fight the battle by myself. That always makes me want to panic. Asking for help is essential for me to get through the fear. I talk to a dear friend who has the patience to listen again and again, helping me understand what I am feeling. I talk to the team and we rally together. I talk to my husband after the kids are sleeping. When I start to panic, I remind myself of others in my life that care and are in this with me.

Focus on something other than the fear.
Fear will consume my mind if I let it. Focusing on a verse, quote, or song helps me to feel grounded, apart from the fear. When preparing for Story, every morning it was this song and also this quote: “What you think you become. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you create.”

Write out the next steps and move.
I write out the next steps and MOVE. Taking my eyes off the big picture and breaking down the process into small next steps helps me move forward. The fear starts to wane when I am moving instead of hiding. Moving forward into the fear is key to not letting the fear dictate and take over. I still have to force myself to MOVE every single time. But when I do, it works every time.

Let go of expectations.
Things rarely turn out quite like expected. Not better or worse, just different. Life and business are centered on people. We all have feelings, we grow, and change our mind. It’s a process that is ever evolving. Although I like to think I do, I really have little control over the actual outcome. When I can embrace the process instead of focusing only on the dream or end goal, I don’t feel like so much is at stake. This frees me up to enjoy the small steps and the day-to-day process.

Fear makes me want to “panic and run in circles” or “jump on a plane and fly far away”. Both are very unproductive and will not solve anything. Obviously. These steps are how I have learned to respond to fear. Every person is different. Fear is part of life. Learning how to work and live well alongside fear instead of letting fear call the shots is essential to living a happy and fulfilled life.

Here’s to living life well and not letting fear call the shots. Yeah?